First one freeLive webinar series
Join Dr. Judith Smith, author of Difficult, for conversations about the caregiving no one prepares mothers for. The first webinar is free.
Have a question for the free webinar? Send it in advance.
What we’ll talk about
Dr. Smith will draw on her research with mothers to name the parts of this role that rarely get talked about.
Mothering doesn’t stop when your child turns 18, and it rarely comes with recognition, support, or a plan.
Many mothers ask what they did wrong. Shame and blame add a weight that other caregivers often don’t carry.
Protecting your child without sacrificing yourself is one of the hardest balancing acts mothers describe.
Based on Dr. Smith’s interviews with 35 mothers for her book, Difficult.
Your questions
Tell us what you most want to understand. Email your question to Judy, and we’ll bring as many as time allows to the conversation.
Not sure what to ask? These are questions mothers often raise:
Or write to judith@difficultmothering.com
Keep going
After the free session on November 5, join Dr. Smith for three deeper conversations. $25 each, or all three for $50 if you register by Monday, November 16.
Signed up and paid for a webinar but missed it? Let us know and we’ll send you the link to the recording.
How many times a day do you think, “If only I had…”? Nearly every mother Dr. Smith interviewed believed she was the cause of her child’s problems. Mothers have been blamed for their children’s troubles for generations, by professionals, by the people around them, and sometimes by their own adult children, and many have taken that blame in. The ideal of the “good mother,” which scholars call the motherhood myth or total motherhood, sets a standard no one can meet. In this session, Dr. Smith draws on her research and the mothers’ stories in Difficult to look at where guilt, shame, and mother-blame come from, why they keep mothers silent and stuck, and what helps you see your own parenting more fairly.
You can love your adult child fiercely and still grieve what might have been. Psychologists call this chronic sorrow: lingering sadness for lost hopes, dreams, and expectations. It comes and goes, and it can be set off by a wedding, a grandchild’s birth, or a neighbor’s casual question. Dr. Smith draws on her research and the mothers’ stories in Difficult to explain why this grief is different from mourning a death, and why feeling it is not a sign that something is wrong with you.
Many mothers put their own needs last, and the holidays can make that harder. This is not an all-or-nothing choice: you can stay committed to your adult child and commit to yourself too. In this final session, Dr. Smith draws on her research to cover three kinds of help: self-care that is realistic when you are stretched thin, social support so you are not carrying this alone, and staying safe if a situation becomes frightening. With Christmas and the other holidays just weeks away, we will also touch on getting through the season: setting limits on gatherings, deciding what to say when people ask about your child, and saving some energy for yourself.
Register for the whole series and save $25. Available through Monday, November 16, before the first paid webinar.
Your host
Dr. Smith is Associate Professor Emerita at Fordham University’s Graduate School of Social Service and the author of Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children Through Conflict and Change (Rowman & Littlefield, 2022). Her book draws on interviews with 35 mothers.
For the past three years she has led support groups for mothers parenting an adult child with serious mental illness, substance use disorder, or chronic unemployment.
Ready for ongoing support?
Dr. Smith leads 10-week virtual groups. Mothers’ Groups begin January 12 and February 1. A Fathers’ Group, co-led with Jeffrey Hoffeld, LP, begins January 14.
Good to know
Mothers parenting an adult child with serious mental illness, substance use disorder, or chronic unemployment.
Email it to Judy at judith@difficultmothering.com. You can also jump up to the question section for ideas.
No. The November 5 webinar is free. You can register for each of the three paid webinars separately at $25 each, or for all three together at $50. The $50 bundle is available through Monday, November 16. After that, you can still register for each remaining webinar at $25.
Let us know at judith@difficultmothering.com and we’ll send you the link to the recording. This applies to the webinars you signed up and paid for.
No. The webinars are open conversations with Dr. Smith. Support groups are small, confidential, 10-week groups that begin in January.